The interview continued with Mr. Waverly and his two agents gaining some useful insights into the IK Doll's life with Patti and her family. Although Mr. Waverly was fairly certain the woman was harmless, and actually did care a great deal for the IK Doll, he was not yet ready to turn his small agent over to her.
"You say the IK Doll has been very happy living with you and your family, but isn't it possible that he actually ran away from you? He was, after all found at a flea market by Mr. Solo here. That doesn't say much for your ability as a caretaker."
"Mr. Waverly" replied Patti "I really don't think he ran away. As I've said over and over, we were having work done in the house and I was trying to protect him from all the dust and dirt. Believe me, most people would envy his lifestyle". Napoleon had to agree with that as he thought back to the cars, suana, hot tub, etc.,.
"Perhaps, but the final determination will rest with the IK Doll. He's quite intelligent and certainly able to decide his own future in this matter."
Illya had his own reasons for wanting to insure the IK Doll's happiness and felt the woman still hadn't adequately convinced them that she had the IK Doll's best interest at heart. Perhaps she just felt as though she'd lost a favorite toy and wanted it returned. Or perhaps she used the IK Doll in other ways, like making him work all the time, or conduct various dangerous experiments, or taking photos of him doing dangerous things to amuse her friends.
"If we are to return the IK Doll to this woman, I think we should insure that he really wants to go with her. It's possible he may not even remember her." said Illya somewhat hopefully.
"I quite agree Mr. Kuryakin, but if she is indeed the IK Doll's caretaker we can scarcely prevent her from taking him from here. Unless of course he doesn't want to go with her."
"Look, I take very good care of him and want him to come back home with me. Not only do I miss him, but so do my husband and children. My husband doesn't have anyone to watch basketball with anymore, and my daughters have no one to buy Ken clothes for."
"What about your son?" asked Solo, "doesn't he like to hang out with the IK Doll too?"
"Sometimes. Once in a while he takes the IK Doll with him to band practice but he doesn't really pay as much attention to him as the rest of the family. Which is kind of strange because I think the IK Doll actually likes him best."
Napoloen thought he'd probably like the person who paid the least attention to him in that family as well. They sounded like a bunch of lunatics.
Illya could also see how being ignored in this family would be a pleasant experience. No wonder the IK Doll liked the boy. He probably never removed IK's clothes or hung him upside down.
"I think we should let the IK Doll decide if he wants to return with you" Mr. Waverly said to Patti "that way there is no chance of coercin.
"I'll have the IK Doll brought here and he can decide what he wants to do", said the boss with a sigh. Really, this matter had taken up his entire day. It was time to settle the IK Doll question once and for all.
A few minutes later the IK Doll drove into the office. This time in the pickup truck. Solo leaned down and put him on the table, then addressed the Action Figure.
"IK, this woman claims to be your "caretaker" and we'd like to know if you remember her and if you want to go home with her."
The IK Doll stared at the blond woman for several minutes before responding.
"She looks somewhat familiar, you say she's my "caretaker"? asked IK.
"Of course I'm your caretaker" the blond spoke up. "Don't you remember? You live in my house, in a closet. Well, not really a closet, it's more like a small condominium. With a sauna, hot tub, furniture...remember?" she asked somewhat plaintively.
"As I said, you look somewhat familiar. You're not the person who tied me up and took those pictures are you?" he said accusingly.
"Yes, I am, but you agreed to it. It was for your website and no one forced you to do it. Remember my daughters the cute blond and the cute redhead? They're always buying you clothes and things. They even bought you a guitar and a violin. And my husband, remember him? You two always have pizza on Friday night and watch the Nets together. He even gave you your own remote for the TV."
"Yes, Yasha! I do remember him. You call him Jack though. And the girls, I remember them as well. One of them is a photographer, and the boy, He is a musician?"
"That's them! Listen IK Doll everyone in the family really misses you and wants you to come home. Jack has spent the last three weekends searching flea markets and collector's shows trying to find you. The girls have your entire summer wardrobe ready, plus some new things for your pool, including a beach umbrella so you won't get sunburned. Please IK? Come home it's no fun without you."
"I will return with you, if it is so important to all of you. What about the boy? Doesn't he miss me?" asked the IK Doll.
"Ah, of course, he's just not as verbal as the girls. In fact he had a gig the other night and mentioned how he'd wished you had been there, you know hanging out in his guitar case, tuning the guitar like you usually do."
The IK Doll pondered his situation. Although he had certainly enjoyed working with Illya and Napoleon, and everyone here, especially all the shapely and well-armed secretaries, had been extremely nice to him, he wanted to go home.
"I will return home with you, but would like to have the option of returning here, when I'm needed by U.N.C.L.E. for missions that only my particular talents are suited for."
Everyone, including Mr. Waverly agreed to that, and all the parties concerned were satisfied that the IK Doll had made the right decision.
As the IK Doll said his goodbyes to his friends at Headquarters, Sharon, Barbara and Janet presented him with a Harley Davidson motorcycle.
"We wanted you to have this IK. Now remember to ride it carefully and always wear your helmet." said Janet as she wiped a tear from her eye. The secretaries were really going to miss the little guy.
Napoleon and Illy, being guys, were less emotional but promised to call the IK Doll for any mission that required his special talents. Soon the IK Doll was headed for the Jersey Shore and his happy family.