The IK Doll's Reality
Illya Kuryakin walked into the office he shared with his partner, Napoleon Solo. Solo had told him to look on his desk, there was something there for him. Never sure what to expect from the partner who had a penchant for practical jokes, Kuryakin approached somewhat warily.
His eyes roamed quickly, immediately spotting what he supposed his partner was referring to. It was a small plastic figure about 12 inches high, dressed in a black turtleneck sweater and black trousers. On closer examination he noted the blond "hair" and blue eyes, the strong square jaw and perfect little nose. Well, the nose was a bit crooked, but attractive nontheless.
It took the Russian several seconds of close examination before he realized just whom the figure resembled. "very funny Napoleon" he muttered under his breath as he tossed the figure into the top drawer of his desk.
The IK Doll was more confused than usual. He had spent the weekend first suffocating under what felt like tons of debris, then hours spent shivering in the cold morning air. From what he could tell, he was lying on a table at some sort of outdoor market. Huge people were walking by, some occasionally stopping just in front of him. The roar of the noise was nearly deafening. He caught a word here and there, but for the most part it was incoherent. Every now and then he felt himself being picked up, turned over and then dropped back onto the table. His senses were reeling from the assault. To add insult to injury, some obnoxious woman had actually started to undress him before dropping him back onto the table. Then, just when he thought he couldn't survive another minute, strong hands picked him up, examined him carefully and put his black sweater back on him. The next thing he knew he was resting comfortably in a large shopping bag on top of what felt like soft cloth. It was warm and cozy and he quickly fell asleep, lulled by the swinging rhythm of the shopping bag.
"Very funny Napoleon, is that abomination supposed to look like me?"
Solo looked up at his partner with innocent eyes, and continued sipping his coffee. "Well, he sure doesn't look like me does he? For one thing, he's way too short." Solo chuckled, not able to contain his amusement. "Sorry Illya, I found him at a flea market this weekend, and between the black outfit and the scowl on his face, the resemblance was just too funny."
The Russian scowled, which just heightened the resemblance as far as Solo was concerned.
"Really Napoleon, don't you have better things to spend your money on than cheap plastic figures? And it's an "it", not a "he".
"Really Illya? How do you know, did you undress him?"
Illya rolled his eyes at that and sat with his partner at the cafeteria table. "No, I didn't undress him...it....I put IT in the top drawer of my desk. How would it look for an enforcement agent to bring toys to work? I'd never be taken seriously here again. And besides I really don't think it looks like me."
"Not even a little?" teased Solo.
"Well maybe there is some resemblance, but it has more to do with his, I mean it's, clothing than anything else." replied Kuryakin somewhat sulkily.
"Oh lighten up Illya. Why don't you put him on top of your desk so everyone can get a good look at him. Then we'll see if anyone besides me thinks he looks like you. Maybe we can even buy him some new clothes and weapons. That way he'll fit right in here. I'll see if I can get him a little black suit and black tie. And socks. I noticed he wasn't wearing any socks, his feet must be cold." mused Napoleon.
The Russian just stared at him as if he'd suddenly grown another head. This was getting ridiculous, his partner was going to buy clothes for the thing? What's next, his own living quarters and perhaps a tiny yellow triangular badge with the number 2 on it? The insanity over the plastic figure must stop immediately! What would Mr. Waverly think of this?
"Napoleon, did you hit your head recently? We are sitting here discussing a 12 inch piece of plastic as if he were a living being. Doesn't this seem just a little odd to you?"
"Not at all. I actually like the little guy. So far he's behaved perfectly. He never argues with me, he stays where I put him, and I can make him dress well. He's the perfect partner."
"Yes Napoleon, except that he's 12 inches tall and made of plastic. Other than that, he'll make an outstading agent."
To be continued....