The IK Doll sneezed again. So hard in fact that he knocked himself over. So there he sat, on the blond man's desk feeling like an idiot. He quickly scrambled to his feet as the two men came closer.
"Ah, Illya, I don't think this thing is just a doll".
"Perhaps Thrush sent him Napoleon. He could be their new secret weapon" snickered the Russian, who for some reason found the situation quite hilarious.
Illya leaned down to the desk until he was eye level with the action figure. "Hello little fellow, do you have a name?" Before he could blink, Illya Kuryakin, Number 2, Section 2, was staring down the barrel of a very small, but lethal looking automatic rifle.
"Just who are you calling little, Blondie?!" demanded the irate action figure, in a voice that sounded remarkably like the Russian's own. Stunned by the bizarre turn of events, Kuryakin looked helplessly at his partner, who was nearly beside himself with laughter.
"Napoleon, this isn't funny! What on earth is this thing supposed to be?" demanded Illya.
"I don't know, but you've got to admit he looks and acts just like you. Besides, you thought it was pretty funny a minute ago."
"Well that was before he pulled a weapon on me".
It was the IK Doll's turn to be annoyed. He hated when people talked about him as if he weren't even in the room.
"I really don't know what I'm doing here. I know one of you rescued me from sort of slave sale, and I spent the weekend in a large shopping bag. But precisely how that came about, I really have no idea."
"Do you have a name?" asked Solo.
"Yes, I'm known as the IK Doll, but as you can see I'm not a doll, I'm an Action Figure. I'm also very well armed as you can also see". This last statement caused Illya to snort loudly.
"If you shot us with that, we'd barely feel it you know". retorted the Russian.
"I could aim it right up your nose and you'd definitely feel it" snapped the IK Doll.
At that point, Napoleon decided to intervene, lest his partner wind up with some sort of plastic projectile up his nose.
"Look, IK Doll, we mean you no harm, be we're very curious about you. It's not every day we meet a 12 inch tall agent such as yourself".
"I'm afraid I cannot remember much. I only have vague memories of living somewhere, with many large, loud people. And they spoke English as well as Russian. Other than that, it's a mystery to me."
"Well Napoleon, what shall we do with him? Perhaps Mr. Waverly can sort this out."
"I don't know Illya, maybe we should keep this quiet for the time being. It's just so weird". replied his partner.
Keeping the IK Doll a secret became moot point when Sharon, another of the shapely and well armed secretaries burst into the office just as the IK Doll began waving his weapon at the two men.
"Hi guys! Oh, look at that, isn't he just the cutest little thing you've ever seen!"
shrieked Sharon. The IK Doll threw his weapon down in disgust and stomped over to the Kleenex box where he'd spent the night. He was in a fine sulk and didn't care who knew it.
"I am not cute!" he bellowed as Sharon came closer. "I'm an Action Figure! I'm dangerous!"
The IK Doll realized he'd lost the battle as the three people in the room dissolved into helpless laughter.
