The IK Doll's Reality

As the three left Mr. Waverly's office, the IK Doll wondered just what Illya meant, referring to him as a "novelty". He didn't think the blond agent was happy about taking him on the mission. He'd have to prove what a valuable little asset he really was if he wanted to work with Napoleon and Illya again.

Napoleon, on the other hand seemed accepting of him. He also seemed very amused by him, but that was alright.

Illya had quite a bit on his mind as well. Though he was becoming used to the IK Doll, and had even brought him home to his apartment, the idea of the action figure as part of the team was a little disconcerting. The IK Doll wasn't any trouble really, he barely took up any space and he was quite neat, but was he ready for a mission?

Within an hour they were on an airplane to Orlando, Florida. The flight was smooth and uneventful and the weather when they arrived was perfect. Seventy degrees and sunny.

The IK Doll rode to the hotel in the rental car's glove compartment. Napoleon very considerately left the glove compartment open for him.

After arriving at the hotel, the agents unpacked and the IK Doll carefully set his bed up on the nightstand. He laid out his clothes for the next few days, noting that someone had included a small bottle of sunblock for him. He really must get some nice souveniers for the secretaries. They took such good care of him. Since they weren't going to the theme park until the next morning, Napoleon suggested they find someplace for dinner. Someplace casual where the IK Doll's presence at (or on) the table wouldn't cause comment. They settled for a barbeque place near the hotel where the ribs were reportedly the best in Florida. The restuarant was rustic and fairly dark so they grabbed a picnic table in the corner and settled in. Solo and Kuryakin ordered the beef barbeque sandwich and fries. The IK Doll was quite hungry and the delightful odor of the barbeque was making his stomach growl. They were served very quickly and Illya pulled off a small chunk of sandwich and a french fry for the IK Doll.

"You know Illya, we should think about miniaturizing some of our agents. Look what we save on food for IK. Plus he doesn't take up any space in the hotel room, he can ride in the glove compartment of the car and he doesn't need an airline ticket. Mr. Waverly would be thrilled if every agent could travel as cheaply as IK. We could even send him in the mail if we had to."

"I'm sure he would love that" replied Illya frowning. He was becoming quite protective of the IK Doll, and the idea of mailing him anywhere was very distressing. The IK Doll had been listening to the conversation, even as he dove into his food. They were talking about him as if he weren't there and he really didn't like it. Time to speak up for himself.

"Though I certainly like to save the Command money, I don't think the US Postal Service is a great way to travel. I seem to remember being mailed once or twice and it was a most unpleasant experience."

"Ah, sorry IK, I got kind of carried away with the cost-saving aspect of your working for UNCLE." apologized Napoleon. "I can see where being mailed somewhere wouldn't be a great experience. By the way, do you remember where you were sent?"

"No, unfortunately I don't. I have only vague memories of arriving at a house where a blonde woman took me out of the box and took my clothes off. Other than that I can't remember anything else."

Napoleon was thinking he wouldn't mind arriving at a blonde woman's house and having his clothes removed by her, but kept his thoughts to himself. He didn't want to upset the IK Doll by prying further into what were obviously painful memories.